Free Toad
The lesser known Lynyrd Skynyrd song
Academe (where a weathered historian shares)
Spring semester ended last week.
You’ll forgive me if I don’t talk about academe this week.
I am spending most of this week in the town in which I grew up, deliberating impossible questions.
With Critters, It’s Personal
Free Toad
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.You are looking at a recently freed toad. Let’s call him Ted.
Ted the Toad found himself in an old basement on a pile of wood. He didn’t know how he got there exactly; he remembered a deep hole, a tunnel of some sort, and then nothing. At least there was wood to hide among and there were a few bugs to eat and it was damp and cool.
Ted thought he might relax here for a while, maybe even settle here permanently. It seemed like it had all he needed. Ted thought he could make a go of this pile of wood even though he didn’t see any other toads around — sometimes he could hear them calling through the strange glass box nearby but he never felt like he was really heard when he tried to call back through the strange glass box.
Then suddenly a light and humans towering. Ted froze. He didn’t understand but the light showed him that he was in a large concrete box and underground, which helped explain why the bugs were not as tasty as he remembered when he was growing up and learning about bugs. How could bugs that live on concrete underground taste like the sun? Of course they couldn’t. Ted began to realize that without tasty bugs to eat, he had grown very tired.
Humans he had seen from afar before and while these humans appeared to be more interested in other corners of the concrete box, Ted knew that if he moved around too much, they might turn their attention on him. His friends had told him that humans think toads cause warts. Attention from creatures that think he’ll give them warts certainly could not lead to good things. Ted wondered how a creature could go through life letting an ideology reign over their decision-making. He didn’t have long to ponder.
Suddenly the brightest light Ted had ever seen was right on top of him. His eyes hurt and his mind went blank. The humans were talking among themselves but he couldn’t understand their words. A bizarre shiny capsule appeared in front of him and Ted presumed this was it, this was his transport to the great toadstool in the sky. So Ted climbed in without any fuss. If this is the next thing in his life, Ted was ready. This moment called for wu wei.
A few moments pass. The capsule opens. Ted waits. Ted feels jiggling and then grass under his belly. He hears other toads’ calling clearly. “So this is the next thing,” Ted thinks to himself as he looks around.